The reverse bucket list

Happy New Year! I hope 2019 has started off well for everyone. I recently came across the concept of a “reverse” bucket list. I’ve never even written a bucket list before, so it’s a little strange for me to be writing about the reverse. The reason I’ve never written a bucket list is because if I want to do something, I just do it. I don’t sit down and think about what I want to do and write it down – ain’t nobody got time for that!

Instead of thinking of the future, and what you want to tick off before you die, the reverse bucket list celebrates what you’ve already achieved. This is a concept that feels unnatural for a Japanese girl who grew up in Australia. Whilst I love both countries, there is a dark cultural narrative that underpins our responses to other people’s successes: the so- called tall poppy syndrome. In Japan, there is a similar phrase, called 「出る釘は打たれる」, which means “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down”. In Japan, people keep their achievements to themselves to avoid unwanted attention, especially from people who are jealous and may not have their best interests at heart. A similar social phenomenon is prevalent in Australia, from what I have experienced.

I personally feel that tall poppy syndrome is psychologically damaging. Why should we hide our accomplishments? No one likes an arrogant prick, but if we’ve done things in our lives that we’re proud of, why not share it? When others share their triumphs with me, I feel so happy. I love celebrating with them, and it inspires me. Why can’t we live in a world where we can inspire each other to reach our goals?

I therefore decided that I would take up this idea of writing my reverse bucket list. I hope that whomever reads this will feel inspired to think about their own successes too. I think that when we think about the things that we have done well, it encourages us to go further. If you feel scared about sharing such things, it can stop us from progressing.

The other week, I did the scorpion dancer pose for the first time (photo above). The “normal” dancer pose is when you extend your arm back and grab your foot. Scorpion dancer is when you flex your arms the other way and grab the foot using a reverse grip. I first tried this pose in August. Even though I’m quite flexible, my shoulders are one of the stiffest parts of my body. Whilst my leg and back can bend, I found it impossible to get my shoulders to move – my hands were no where near my lifted foot.

I will write another post about Yin Yoga, but doing yin poses that work on shoulder mobility, as well as practising this pose using a strap has worked for me. This photo was taken on a 7°C day, so I did not expect that my body would be limber… but I decided to try it, and to my delight and surprise, I got it! I was so excited that I had to get a photo (of course). I guess my point in sharing this story is that we should be proud of what we have done, because it propels us forward. Now that I have been able to do scorpion dancer pose, my next goal is to do bow pose (dhanurasana) with a flipped grip. I therefore encourage you to think about what you’re proud of, and then use that as a platform for building your next set of goals!

My reverse bucket list – top 10

1. Running a marathon. I didn’t think I’d ever attempt a marathon in my lifetime, but I ran my first marathon in 2016. Training for a marathon changes you. It requires a lot of time, patience, commitment, and the ability to overcome physical pain (mind over matter!).
2. Raising ~$20K for charity by myself. I have individually raised nearly $20,000 (without any corporate sponsorship) for various charities since 2012. In 2012, I raised nearly $12,000 by shaving my head for the Leukaemia Foundation, in 2016 I raised $4,000 by running the aforementioned marathon for Cure Brain Cancer, in 2017 I raised $2,000 by doing a spinathon for the Feel the Magic Children’s charity, and in 2018, I rode with the NSW Fire Brigade to raise just over $1,000 for the Children’s Hospital Westmead Burns Unit.
3. Becoming a good doctor. Being a doctor can be incredibly difficult. We see people die, grieving relatives, and horrific accidents. We have to break bad news, such as a new diagnosis of cancer. It doesn’t matter how many medical textbooks you’ve read, becoming a good doctor requires one to be a good human first. A few years ago, one of my bosses said that I would make a good surgeon because “you have good hands, a good brain, and a good heart”. We hardly ever get compliments at work and that is one that I will treasure forever, because I know that my heart has touched a lot of patients.
4. Saving my dad’s life. I won’t go into the private details of my father’s medical history, but there was one day when I recognised that my dad was having a life threatening event without him realising it. I rushed him to the hospital, and that was the first time in my life that I thought to myself, “Thank God I’m a doctor”. He spent a long time in Intensive Care recovering from this event, and to this day, I am so glad that my medical knowledge was put to good use that day. I’m happy to say that he is doing well now.
5. Travelling around Europe alone. Solo travel can be an intimidating thing, especially for young women. In 2014, I spent a month in Europe with just carry-on luggage (a challenge for someone who loves shoes!). I explored the back streets of Paris, discovered some cute vintage clothing stores in Edinburgh, ate at my first Michelin star restaurant in Barcelona (without knowing I’d walked into one), and visited some friends in London. This trip made me comfortable with spending time alone.
6. Being a Brownie Sixer. This one may sound strange – I mean, what do Brownies do that’s such a big deal? Bake sales and visiting old people’s homes? Being a Brownie was the start of my leadership skills. I’ve always been a leader, not a follower. I was 8 years old when I was the Sixer for the Elves. I then went on to be House Captain when I was 9, captained my netball team at age 10, etc. etc… Eventually in Year 12, my highlight was conducting a choir of 200 girls! We did win that competition, which was the cherry on top, but the experience of getting 200 girls to listen and sing in harmony was so valuable (and more important than winning). It’s experiences like these from a young age that cultivate skills that we value in adulthood.
7. Becoming a yoga teacher. I started yoga in 2011. I loved it straight away, but I was not dedicated. There were long periods when work got busy and I didn’t go to a single class for several months. I always fantasised about being a yoga teacher, but never thought I would be good enough. Last year, after I quit my job, I thought – “I have all this time now. What the hell, I’m going to Bali and getting my qualification!” And so I did. It was a life-changing course that taught me more about life than it did about yoga. I’ll write another post about my yoga teacher training another time.
8. Medical Aid work. I enrolled in medical school with aspirations of volunteering for Médecins Sans Frontières. I haven’t (yet) done that, but I had an opportunity to volunteer for a group in the Solomon Islands in 2017. I was involved in the Solomon Islands’ first laparoscopic abdominoperineal resection for rectal cancer, which was the highlight for most of the surgeons there. However, my highlight was operating on a baby who was born with extra toes. I performed the surgery meticulously, and I know that it will make a difference to this baby’s life because having extra toes affects learning to walk, as well as finding it difficult to wear shoes as the child grows.
9. Sticking up for myself by sticking up my middle finger. I proverbially told work to f*ck off last year. It is almost unheard of for a junior doctor to quit his or her job, especially halfway through a term. I was suffering, I was neglected, and I was swimming in a toxic pond of guilt trips and unfair expectations. Others in my position stay because there is so much at stake (like, their future career in surgery). Despite myself and six other (senior) doctors raising concerns about the untenable (and illegal) hours I was working, nothing changed. I decided I’d had enough. I decided to put myself first. I decided to put my health first. I decided to put my happiness first. I value integrity, I value myself, and I am proud of myself for making that brave and life-changing decision.
10. Starting this blog! I’ve always loved writing. I also have a quirky sense of style which I haven’t even shared on here yet because I have so many other things I want to cover, like health and fitness. Anyway, it was 14 years ago that my school friend Nikki said, “you should start a blog” after seeing one of my adventurous outfits. I loved the idea of it, but this was pre-Instagram days and I had no idea how to take a good picture or how to even start a blog. I’m a bit of a techno-phobe and even now I have no idea how to change some bits of this website (haalp!) so I’m just sticking to a default template. Anyway, maybe soon I’ll start sharing my outfits, which was the original thing that got me thinking about blogs…

So there it is. My top 10 items on my reverse bucket list. I stand here short and proud. At my height, no one can cut this poppy down (haha). I hope you will be able to sit down and think of your top 10 achievements to date as well. The “reverse bucket list” is so 2019 – get in on it!

Take care,

Miko xx